Detextor

Quando me olho no espelho, vejo um reflexo amargurado e a perder-se no vazio do tempo. Tal como um remorso que borbulha e espalha-se pelo horizonte obscuro no qual perdi tudo de vista. O barulho distante da minha voz evaporou e transcendeu ao infinito derretendo com as flores que murcharam exuberantes. img: https://piapro.jp/t/g4Dg

I always bring myself down, overdosing with the nightmares I wish I could clog up with powder. Self-destruction on my flesh, everyone tells me someday I will choke on my own addiction. Only when I think of love, it itches and spills my wounds like when I chug up a whole bottle that drowns me in lies that everyone spit themselves in. I run away from all these emotions that I try to blast with more pain, and, in a matter of fact, I won't stop driving myself to my own death. So don't try to save me because I'll hurt you, show you my worst and push you off the cliff of my own abyss I live in. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/38396886

When I'm upbeat and floating above, I wish I could stay like this for a little longer. It's like hitting and snapping out from a long slumber. And now I'm filled with love and empty happiness, only you could bring me down. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/88049339 info: It's a warm-up poem.

My heart that is now empty stirs and sways with lies. I looked at the sky, but it was bleeding with grudges and guilt. I kept deceiving myself and obscuring my reflection, neglecting my own suffering. And even if this longing became true, there would still be no point as there's no end to my turmoil. You sank in my blood, diluting and drowning in my angered heart that is now hollow. And as I was falling deeply in the blue sky, my hopes turned to dust, outlasting with the wind that sucked and spilled my transparent consciousness. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/55083464

O passado que tento negar é o mesmo que me preenche e continua a resurgir no fundo do meu coração. E as memórias que estou apegado são a prova de que estou corrompido. Embora eu seja defeituoso anseio por um amor idealizado. E os teus olhos que prostram-se em lágrimas e miséria são nada mais que uma aberração. E tal como o luar, padecem e regurgitam na dor e na mentira. Porém, tudo o que nos resta é o arrependimento e o ódio que sangra com as memórias que ondulam e desaparecem com a aflição que transborda do fundo do meu coração.

All romantic stories are all so laughable, lacking expressiveness and brutally dishonest. Lurking about connection like some femme fatale disguised with a smirk struck by devilish lies. Sighing out routine, shedding crocodile tears, paying out hearts with lust as brutally dishonest as possible. I'm so sick of all this, I want to crush their eyes, laugh at their faces and snap their hearts. Because at the end we're all so naive, delusional and pitiful, crying out for affection. This is all so brutally dishonest, we keep forcing empty concepts, washing off these beliefs as if they're the epitome of happiness. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/83105924

I'm nothing but a rag, I can't handle the weight of life now, but I still remember you. This hurts so much, I can't do anything about this pain, I'm crushed from all this. I'm hopeless, and I don't want salvation. I just wish I could die now. And you can't understand me. I gave up long ago, and I don't want to believe in anything at all anymore. I don't even know what's going on anymore. I've lost touch with myself, and I'm losing my mind. I'm searching for the ones who left this world long ago behind without having a choice. I wish I could be beside them. As always, I can't do anything but cry out for their name, I won't ever forget them. I'm clinging to my memories, but even this is meaningless, only a struggle clutched to my chest. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/81558945

Just as a prophecy, the light's breezing lifted my tearful soul from a past far buried from my suffering, burning into the darkness lying inside my heart. Just as angels glittering, falling down in my dreams and as withering blue flowers, I was winding away in the eyes of the moonlight. And even for these shallow wounds, it deflects truth and callous lies, but still you're so miserable and naive, just like me, nothing but  a loner only looking for death. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/80670536 info: I thought about going with "Silene Flos-Jovis" as the title, but it didn't fit at all, so I changed it to another flower's name. And I have put this one aside since last year's summer because I just didn't want to publish it yet at the time as it was literally garbage, and I had to work better on this one, but now here it is, I have finally released it.

Todos têm segredos, um lado obscuro, uma farpa profunda espetada no coração. Porém, aquilo que desejo é um amor puro sem palavras feias e nem desejos sujos. Infelizmente, estou a tornar-me cada vez mais frio, cada vez mais cruel e insensível comigo. E tu não notaste que eu estava a despedir-me aos poucos. Agora só desejo destruir-te, fazer-te sofrer, e fazer-te sentir as minhas frustrações. Quero esquecer-te e afundar-te comigo neste ódio reprimido. Eu menosprezo-te, repudio-te profundamente. O quão defeituosa és, o quão traidora foste, apenas quero apagar-te. E nem mesmo coração, ou um pingo de empatia sinto já por ti. Jamais fui suficientemente forte para encarar e aceitar certos factos com sinceridade. Cansado daquela paixão cega, eu quero pisar e escarrar naqueles desejos inalcançáveis. Quero destruir todas as tuas palavras, e acabar com este melodrama. No entanto, um dia nada disto irá ter qualquer significado, porque com o tempo tudo isto apagar-se-á por si mesmo. (Or...

As our hearts depart from sight, we lose grasp of everything. Soon our bygone world will sink in emptiness. We wish to let out some wind, but nothing can be forever held in our hands for granted. And for as much it hurts to tell, we've become miserably oblivious. Even the crying sky turned hazy, and soon it'll be our farewell for us to carry the sorrow alone. img: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/78137661