A hopeless, very hopeless voice

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Living without expectations
Watching time passing by
Losing for the impulses
I'm wasting grass, I don't care
Trying to make some verses
I'm only a waste of space
Feeling enraged, I just want to spank
Someone's figure until they realize
How meaningless it is to be alive
Enduring day by day the bitterness
I will never be able to understand myself
Hatred, I'm in hatred
There's not even a reason for me
To try understand my hopelessness
There must have been an error
This words even might have been inputted in me
As a secret weapon to blow me up
To the next night, I'm lacking sleep 
That thought has been dancing in my eyes

Wanted, I'm wanted, intended to be drown
And travel to another reality, another world
This is just a stupid reflection, just a waste of time
I'm at a big loss here, no one to help me 
Understanding the hell is going on
Damn, Damn, I think I'll just blow the guts out of me
Not even this letter came from an inner reflection
I'm just profoundly tired of falling in random spaces
Blow, blow the guts out of me, damn lack of sleep

Please, help me putting myself together
My feelings are running away, I cry in sorrow
This never ending sadness and grief
Will forever last in my heart until I die
Will this be the last words of mine before I expire
The last breath of mine?
And even so, I never felt loved
Only untrustworthy people have poisoned my tears
No, there will be no hope, there will be only regret
If it was the way I was meant to live
Then I'd better erase my fire and cease my mind
There will be no peaceful nights

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